When will we get human kids?

“Will Monty have a human sibling?”

I cannot count how many times Michael and I (Mikala) have been asked that question, so I thought it was time to make a blog post about it, to address the issue once and for all.

I know that we are not obligated to answer every question, but because we feel that we are a part of this amazing supportive community, we would like to be honest and answer the best we can.

Let me start by saying; I am not pregnant! 😉

Michael and I met each other when we were 22 and 28. Guess who’s the oldest… me, Mikala! Back then, many of our friends started to have human babies. We had the “baby conversation” really early in our relationship and we both felt the same way: we were not interested in having any human kids, at least not in the next 5 years!
Six years have passed and here we are today with the same feelings, we don’t really have this burning desire to have a human baby. Of course it has something to do with Monty giving us the chance to be parents, pouring our love out on him every single day, from washing the blankets when he has peed in his sleep (due to his chromosomal abnormality), to giving him his epilepsy medicine, to caring for him in general. But for me, it also has something to do with my ongoing struggle with anxiety, which is most difficult when I’m stressed and under pressure. I can handle it right now by being mindful of my emotions and feeling them and not hiding them, but I know from seeing the changes in my friends’ lives after having babies, that it is not just easy-peasy-pampers-commercially-cute. It is hard work being a parent to a human baby and I don’t want to struggle even more with anxiety while having a baby I don’t really have a burning desire to have in the first place. I hope you understand that I’m not saying that you can’t have human kids when you have anxiety, but we are all different and for me it’s just one of the many reasons why I don’t want to have human kids.
Then there is the fact that Michael and I are working all the time! We love what we do every day in the Monty company but we already wish we had more hours in the day—or that we could just skip sleeping! 😉 Adding a human baby to the Monty family would just be too much for us. Our passion is really with animals and especially helping cats in need and changing the way many people look at special needs cats. Our dream is to travel the world and tell everyone about Monty and how he has changed our lives and spread the message that you don’t have to look perfect to be amazing—and that goes for cats and humans!

Maybe someday we will feel different, but honestly we don’t really have that much time to change our minds. I am now 34 and Michael is 28, and it won’t get any easier to get pregnant with age, but it seems like we will be happy without having a human baby. However, we would love to adopt a non-human sibling for Monty! But that is a whole other blog post right there! 😉

2 thoughts on “When will we get human kids?

  1. Dear Mikala & Michael,
    Thank you so much for thinking carefully and discussing having human kids!! 👌 ♡ It’s easy to put a child in the world, and to many children are abandoned or parents can’t cope. I have the utmost respect for people who weigh the pros and cons and make a conscious decision whether or not to have children, especially when you have health issues. Raising a child is very rewarding but just not for everybody. I personally never ask couples if they’re going to have children. It is personal and it can be painful, for example if they struggle infertility or cannot carry to term. Thank you for sharing!

  2. Hello from Canada, Mikala! I am 49 and have lived with anxiety and depression since my teens. I too always knew that a baby might be too much for me. I found out at 42 that I am actually bipolar- so I’m thankful every day that I didn’t bring a baby into this world only to have a mother who might not always be there for them. Like you, I have a wonderful partner and 2 cats that are my babies. Never feel bad for your choice!

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